Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Adventures of a College Student: In Repair

So for everyone out there who actually reads these silly posts, I just want to thank you. This has kinda of turned into an outlet for my thoughts and pictures. 

For my Adventures of a College Student
here is the next lesson.

I have currently titled my life "In Repair"

When I was traveling in Europe last fall, I  was in a constant state pondering the greatness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and how it seems in my life when I seem unsteady in the course of my life, the progress doesn't feel like progress, the happiness is the fleeting momentary madness it seems to always be; the Gospel is the never failing source of Joy Comfort and peace I am searching for. While riding on the bus traveling somewhere in between Liverpool and Preston I saw this construction sign,
and if you cant read my picture which is a little blurry with the infamous English rain here is another image off of google. 


 I read this sign and knew that it had been placed there in that spot on the English highway just for me. All of the thoughts of self doubt, the uneasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, the waves of emotions seemed to calm all in one glorious feeling. Tears began to fall from my eyes, my chest burned and I felt ashamed with my own actions, the gospel and the religions I had been study for the past months, all of  the museums, the hundreds and hundreds pieces of art, the architecture built to with stand time and people, the cultures that shaped the world all that I had seen and I had never connected the dots as simple as this sign. That right there is what the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Infinite Atonement offers us every time we return to it. Simple but always true. I learned one of the greatest lesson of my life that day. Jesus Christ offers us" Free Recovery ( if we/ I) Await Rescue." You would think that I could remember always to  have that soft sweet spiritual burning reminder in my heart as I returned home to the states and back to my life, which was anxiously waiting me to continue. But I am merely human. I had forgotten so selfishly what it is others have come and done before me, for me. 
My success and joy in my life comes from choosing to follow our Savior. My "success" can only be truly measured and amount to anything if I simply follow him. So why then it is so hard? Good question. I think the pain the heartache, the bottomless loneliness comes from our our desire to control and run our own lives to make our own decisions to feel the need to be the running power of our lives. I know this first hand. I love control of my situation. It has gotten me nowhere and fast. 
So today I am humbling myself and laying down my great and ridiculous imaginary control and power and starting from the ground up. With the basics, I chose to do as the young rugby professional in Australia has done just a few days ago, I chose to say" This is who I am, and what I want to do."
I want to live the Gospel. I want to have my Decision's dictate my eternal nature to those around me, to tell the world by my actions I am a daughter of God who loves me and I love him and I will try my best knowing that when I fail to succeed there is an unconditional "Free Rescue and I just have to Await Recovery." It seems simple to say those words and believe them. I promise to stick to them. I have begun a list of the small and simple things I see in my life that God had placed there for me, and the almost invisible its so small list of things I am doing for him. I am "In Repair" and plan on updating you all soon on the progress. I wish you all the best happiness today and this week. Chose who you will serve, chose how you measure your own success. Chose to Follow him. 

-Hayley

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