So this week I have been with my grandparents, and as a result of their retiredness I have a lot of talks walks and time to think about everything. So please just hold on there is a lot coming your way today. It never ceases to amaze me and how much I truly love Northern California, maybe because its never been my everyday reality, or its been a vacation spot my whole life and is thus associated with those feelings of freedom, enjoyment, and pleasure in the beautiful days and the atmosphere. I do have a undeniable pull to move here though. Whether its to be closer to these great people to learn from them feel of their great spirits or simply be blessed by their presence. Do you think by making this my everyday reality it will ruin all the romanticizing I have done for years of my life about this place?
My Grandma is quite the avid walker and as such I walked with her three days this week, such fun to work out and talk. I think it is the best exercise we women can do, A: because we talk out all of our thoughts whether to ourselves or other people. B: because we are talking so much and throughly entertained we walk very long distances without even noticing. In one of our walks she said somethings to me that no one has ever said to me before. I'd like to think of myself as quite an independent person with the understanding that I rely solely on the gospel my testimony and my God. I have always thought being this independent person would help me later in my life when it came time for a career, providing for myself, pushing myself to be better, and for better or worse be the voice inside my own head. Now, that all said I have learned being too independent is self destructive and inhibits relationships to further progress. Yet, it has taken me to great places, to do great things and hopefully continually to do those those things. So when the subject came up I expressed my worries of past mistakes current worries and future potential. Do you know what she said?
" I am person who needs time to myself to gather my thoughts, I enjoy my own moments and treasure them. I did things in my life for me and they contributed to my family." - Grandma
That's when I knew it was okay to be the same; to ask for my own space and time and to continue to push myself to better yet still be a part of a family atmosphere without injuring the relationship. Then as we continued to walk. We came upon the subject of being happy, odd I know... I am certain in my life, some where along the road someone has said this same thing to me and I simply wasn't listening and to that person I am sorry.
But, she said" Hayley, in order to be truly happy you have to find it yourself. You can not spend your life basing your happiness on someone else, because ultimately they will have let you down and they will never know why it is you are so disappointed. That is also a lot of responsibility for one person to taken on..."- Grandma
Well said? I know. As I am sure you all know that I am a Mormon. In our culture everyone gets married relatively young and I am certainly intermixed in that whole scenario currently... I have been making a huge mistake when it came to happiness, I expected to find some of it in someone else, and boy was I ever set straight that morning by grandma!
Final Score
Grandma: 2 Hayley: 0
Next topic currently zooming throughout my head is one I found looking over such a great city. I was thinking about why it is I truly love big cities. I found through my travels I don't love all big Cities, in fact, its not the actual idea of a city I love at all; Its the character, the buildings, the people, the feeling I get being there. I know your probably thinking okay she fell off the cliff. Give me a chance to explain. I was attending a baptism session at the Oakland Temple with the Walnut Creek Third ward. I happened to be there first one in and out and had a ton of time until everyone was finished( there at least 35 in the baptistry!! awesome? I know) So once I had been waiting an hour plus, I decided to go outside and wait. I walked over to this section in which I could jump up and over look the Oakland/San Francisco Bay. Wow, now if you want to see lights go for miles, planes everywhere and thousands of people, this is your view point. I thought about the housing in San Francisco, how each one is different and personal to someone, how the city lights up and is swallowed by fog each night, how the city thrives on the energy it receives from each individual doing his our her part to keep it running. Its amazing! We are each living our lives everyday as if our small worlds are the end all be all, and yet everyone in a city is doing the same thing. Amazing? I know. I love disappearing into the masses, and yet I am still an individual. I can do that everyday. I love the infuse of culture, history, and passions. I get chills just thinking all that a city can teach you. I am not sure that anything I could say after this will no longer make sense ha ha but you get the idea of why it is I love them so. I was reminded of God's love for his children, he allowed us to create such gorgeous sites for us to sit and pondered at. I sure love this temple!!
I could go on and one for another three or four paragraphs about all the there stuff in my head but I figured these were the most coherent thoughts at the time being. Well, now I am currently sitting on a plane with about 150+ people I don't know a single one and I am completely okay with it. I am sure the guy behind me has read half of this before he started snoring about five minutes ago, the lady next to him will continue to read her book silently to her self and the teenage boy asleep next to me has no idea that his younger sister is so proud of her older brother and is grateful for his gentle kind heart and comfortable shoulder and all this is okay with me because when I get wifi again I am going to hit publish and send this of into the great abyss of the internet and who knows how many people will read it, how many people it will help or won' t help, or if anyone will read it at all. All I know is that I am grateful for this week for the views, the thoughts, for the people and for my many blessings.
Until next my dear friends,
-hayley
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
whew
I am looking for a way to slow down this seven week break.... because it is flying by wayyyyyyyy too fast. any ideas anyone?? help me!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
the last week
So I haven't posted since last sunday, so real quick here is an update.
On Monday: my aunt came home, so I was off baby sitting duty! Then I went home and got some stuff organized such as finding containers for the things that float around all over the place! I finally cut out and fixed up all my wonderful maps from Europe measured them and laid them out to flatten. I sorted through all my tickets. trinkets, watercolors, and other things that hold sweet memories. My mom because she is so awesome went to the container store for me and bought me this awesome totes for other things I really need to get organized. Then off to Target me and my brothers went, to get them new shirts, treats for the plane, and a few other things. Then Connor and I saw the planet of the apes movie.... not my favorite at all!!!
On Tuesday: Bennett and I went to target to return his shirts and grab a few things for me. Then we brought home doughnuts for everyone and spent the next few hours packing everyone up to leave for Utah and France. We called my dad to wish him a happy birthday! Happy Birthday Again dad! Then we all jumped in the pool together! For dinner we went to Taco Tuesday, then to a Service project at the church! Then that night everyone slept in my room, because it was the going to be a while before we are all back together again.
on Wednesday: Connor left for France at 3am and I am gonna miss him like crazy but I am very excited for his big adventure!. I went and got my nails done, ran some errands for my mom, then we attempted to leave for utah. When we got out to the 91 bumper to bumper traffic so my mom's gps took us all the way to Ponoma to the 210 where we finally got back on a freeway ..... then we got off in Rancho Cucamonga ate dinner went shopping for the dog[ who by the way gets very car sick :( poor guy ten hours in a car not cool!] we stopped in vegas this night.
On thursday: WE drove all day until we got to midway. Jackson and I rode our bikes into to town with the dog and got ice cream then went to [the store] for dinner. Mary Jane is up her with us and her family and we had a blast.
On Friday: We were pretty busy family. We went shopping, lunch, fixed the boat, temple for a wedding shopping, and a wedding reception got home and Mary Jane and I went for a talk and a walk.
On Saturday: We woke up late, went on walks, talks, and then MaryJane left for home, me and the boys went to Lunch, then came home and Matt and Allie came up while we were all at the pool. Then we all went to park city for dinner and movies, the boys saw the apes movie and my mom and I saw the help....... Which was absolutely marvelous. I woulds recommend it to anyone. Its a must see.
well, thats it for me week, changed states, time zones and still safe:)
-hayley
On Monday: my aunt came home, so I was off baby sitting duty! Then I went home and got some stuff organized such as finding containers for the things that float around all over the place! I finally cut out and fixed up all my wonderful maps from Europe measured them and laid them out to flatten. I sorted through all my tickets. trinkets, watercolors, and other things that hold sweet memories. My mom because she is so awesome went to the container store for me and bought me this awesome totes for other things I really need to get organized. Then off to Target me and my brothers went, to get them new shirts, treats for the plane, and a few other things. Then Connor and I saw the planet of the apes movie.... not my favorite at all!!!
On Tuesday: Bennett and I went to target to return his shirts and grab a few things for me. Then we brought home doughnuts for everyone and spent the next few hours packing everyone up to leave for Utah and France. We called my dad to wish him a happy birthday! Happy Birthday Again dad! Then we all jumped in the pool together! For dinner we went to Taco Tuesday, then to a Service project at the church! Then that night everyone slept in my room, because it was the going to be a while before we are all back together again.
on Wednesday: Connor left for France at 3am and I am gonna miss him like crazy but I am very excited for his big adventure!. I went and got my nails done, ran some errands for my mom, then we attempted to leave for utah. When we got out to the 91 bumper to bumper traffic so my mom's gps took us all the way to Ponoma to the 210 where we finally got back on a freeway ..... then we got off in Rancho Cucamonga ate dinner went shopping for the dog[ who by the way gets very car sick :( poor guy ten hours in a car not cool!] we stopped in vegas this night.
On thursday: WE drove all day until we got to midway. Jackson and I rode our bikes into to town with the dog and got ice cream then went to [the store] for dinner. Mary Jane is up her with us and her family and we had a blast.
On Friday: We were pretty busy family. We went shopping, lunch, fixed the boat, temple for a wedding shopping, and a wedding reception got home and Mary Jane and I went for a talk and a walk.
On Saturday: We woke up late, went on walks, talks, and then MaryJane left for home, me and the boys went to Lunch, then came home and Matt and Allie came up while we were all at the pool. Then we all went to park city for dinner and movies, the boys saw the apes movie and my mom and I saw the help....... Which was absolutely marvelous. I woulds recommend it to anyone. Its a must see.
well, thats it for me week, changed states, time zones and still safe:)
-hayley
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Adventures of a College Student: Stay Changed
Stay Changed
A few weeks ago I got home was sorting through my things to get an idea of exactly how much stuff I have keep over the years and the scrap book projects I have ahead of me. Lets just say its days worth. In that mess of all of the things I have collected I found a letter from a dear friend with whom I attended EFY or Especially for the youth. For those of you reading who don't know what that is; it is a camp which is a week long put on for youth ages 14-18. It focuses on the Young men and Young Women themes for the year, and it is focused on spiritually learning and building a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. Well, this friend and I had attended a class offered from a Local Saint who had simply said, " the key to becoming anything, is that you stay changed." In her letter she wrote to me, "stay changed in the way of the gospel. It will only benefit you to stay changed." As I am thinking about that this morning before I go to partake of the sacrament I am reminded that of my strong testimony in the church and my desire to stay changed for the better. Its hard, I have not put enough effort sadly into this simple statement. I have been working really hard on my things to change for a hundred days and not so hard on the things that pertain to my salvation and happiness. So I am dropping a few of those things and adding to my list. I am grateful for the chance to change. Not because its offered just to me but to everyone, to change and become different people our whole lives. To become the people we always hoped we can be and all that effort we put into changing forgiving and becoming better is all possible because of the Atonement. With out our Savior it would be impossible to change to grow and to forgive ourselves and others. So as you go through this week pick one thing that is important to be changed in your life, do it. Everyday, all day, day in and day out. Hold your self accountable, tell someone close to you and have them hold you accountable. then Stay Changed, and continue the pattern pick a new challenge change. And remember like I have posted before, if you fail..." Free recovery, Await rescue." the Lord will help, you just have to ask.
-hayley
p.s. something that made me smile and get all warm and fuzzy.
moments that matter/
A few weeks ago I got home was sorting through my things to get an idea of exactly how much stuff I have keep over the years and the scrap book projects I have ahead of me. Lets just say its days worth. In that mess of all of the things I have collected I found a letter from a dear friend with whom I attended EFY or Especially for the youth. For those of you reading who don't know what that is; it is a camp which is a week long put on for youth ages 14-18. It focuses on the Young men and Young Women themes for the year, and it is focused on spiritually learning and building a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. Well, this friend and I had attended a class offered from a Local Saint who had simply said, " the key to becoming anything, is that you stay changed." In her letter she wrote to me, "stay changed in the way of the gospel. It will only benefit you to stay changed." As I am thinking about that this morning before I go to partake of the sacrament I am reminded that of my strong testimony in the church and my desire to stay changed for the better. Its hard, I have not put enough effort sadly into this simple statement. I have been working really hard on my things to change for a hundred days and not so hard on the things that pertain to my salvation and happiness. So I am dropping a few of those things and adding to my list. I am grateful for the chance to change. Not because its offered just to me but to everyone, to change and become different people our whole lives. To become the people we always hoped we can be and all that effort we put into changing forgiving and becoming better is all possible because of the Atonement. With out our Savior it would be impossible to change to grow and to forgive ourselves and others. So as you go through this week pick one thing that is important to be changed in your life, do it. Everyday, all day, day in and day out. Hold your self accountable, tell someone close to you and have them hold you accountable. then Stay Changed, and continue the pattern pick a new challenge change. And remember like I have posted before, if you fail..." Free recovery, Await rescue." the Lord will help, you just have to ask.
-hayley
p.s. something that made me smile and get all warm and fuzzy.
moments that matter/
Saturday, August 6, 2011
A realization
Today I went back and read some of my old posts and waappacck my realization that I don't post about the ordinary things anymore.
My day was pretty basic. I am currently watching a family members kids, we woke up made cinnamon rolls, then went to a basketball game where we yelled screamed and motioned the loudest. Then we went home jumped on the trampoline with the sprinkler, then picked up my computer at the apple store(currently blogging form my phone ) then we went to dinner and to see Winnie-the-Pooh. Can I just express to you all the love I have in my heart for Disney but mostly pooh bear. I don't know what it is that pulls me into this darling story maybe it is the nativity or the completely adorable characters. Whatever the reason, I watched the movie for a second time today and stilled laughed loved and smiled the whole way through it. I think about the childhood memories I have attached to Disney and its wonderful story lines and characters. I am thankful for those sweet memories, and my mom who encouraged them. I found this hilarious picture via www.frenchbydesign.com and thought all you cynical disney fans out there could get a good giggle.
Well thats all I have for you today. Just another day in Paradise:)
love summer break, love california, love life.
-hayley
My day was pretty basic. I am currently watching a family members kids, we woke up made cinnamon rolls, then went to a basketball game where we yelled screamed and motioned the loudest. Then we went home jumped on the trampoline with the sprinkler, then picked up my computer at the apple store(currently blogging form my phone ) then we went to dinner and to see Winnie-the-Pooh. Can I just express to you all the love I have in my heart for Disney but mostly pooh bear. I don't know what it is that pulls me into this darling story maybe it is the nativity or the completely adorable characters. Whatever the reason, I watched the movie for a second time today and stilled laughed loved and smiled the whole way through it. I think about the childhood memories I have attached to Disney and its wonderful story lines and characters. I am thankful for those sweet memories, and my mom who encouraged them. I found this hilarious picture via www.frenchbydesign.com and thought all you cynical disney fans out there could get a good giggle.Well thats all I have for you today. Just another day in Paradise:)
love summer break, love california, love life.
-hayley
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Adventures Of a College Student
No matter where you are.... you have missed things:
I have grown up in Orange County. I love it here. I love the hundreds of people you pass on your way to the grocery store, I love that the marine layer burns off into a gorgeous day. I love that you have to have a car to get everywhere. I love that I am an hour form LA and San Diego. I am twenty minutes from the happiest place on earth:D which makes me one of the happiest people on earth. I love my world famous beaches, crazy people AND my family.
Okay okay, I will get to the point.
I have lived here basically my whole life, and yesterday was the first time I went to LA to explore, not to just go to a museum exhibit, or to see a play, or a taping of a show; the things LA is famous for, I went to people watch and just explored with my little brothers. Next stop.... San Diego.
Today take a look around; what is one thing you have always wanted to do in the place you are living in? Make a plan. Do it. You may never know where life takes you and if you can ever make time to do it again. Go see those missed things.
here are a few pictures
-until next time
hayley
I have grown up in Orange County. I love it here. I love the hundreds of people you pass on your way to the grocery store, I love that the marine layer burns off into a gorgeous day. I love that you have to have a car to get everywhere. I love that I am an hour form LA and San Diego. I am twenty minutes from the happiest place on earth:D which makes me one of the happiest people on earth. I love my world famous beaches, crazy people AND my family.
Okay okay, I will get to the point.
I have lived here basically my whole life, and yesterday was the first time I went to LA to explore, not to just go to a museum exhibit, or to see a play, or a taping of a show; the things LA is famous for, I went to people watch and just explored with my little brothers. Next stop.... San Diego.
Today take a look around; what is one thing you have always wanted to do in the place you are living in? Make a plan. Do it. You may never know where life takes you and if you can ever make time to do it again. Go see those missed things.
here are a few pictures
-until next time
hayley
Venice
Don't have to go all to Vegas:D
i thought we were in the USA?
my first time to the LA temple
our first time!!
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