Walks, Talk and Time with great people

So this week I have been with my grandparents, and as a result of their retiredness I have a lot of talks walks and time to think about everything. So please just hold on there is a lot coming your way today. It never ceases to amaze me and how much I truly love Northern California, maybe because its never been my everyday reality, or its been a vacation spot my whole life and is thus associated with those feelings of freedom, enjoyment, and pleasure in the beautiful days and the atmosphere. I do have a undeniable pull to move here though. Whether its to be closer to these great people to learn from them feel of their great spirits or simply be blessed by their presence. Do you think by making this my everyday reality it will ruin all the romanticizing I have done for years of my life about this place?

My Grandma is quite the avid walker and as such I walked with her three days this week, such fun to work out and talk. I think it is the best exercise we women can do, A: because we talk out all of our thoughts whether to ourselves or other people. B: because we are talking so much and throughly entertained we walk very long distances without even noticing. In one of our walks she said somethings to me that no one has ever said to me before. I'd like to think of myself as quite an independent person with the understanding that I rely solely on the gospel my testimony and my God. I have always thought being this independent person would help me later in my life when it came time for a career, providing for myself, pushing myself to be better, and for better or worse be the voice inside my own head. Now, that all said I have learned being too independent is self destructive and inhibits relationships to further progress. Yet, it has taken me to great places, to do great things and hopefully continually to do those those things. So when the subject came up I expressed my worries of past mistakes current worries and future potential. Do you know what she said?
" I am person who needs time to myself to gather my thoughts, I enjoy my own moments and treasure them. I did things in my life for me and they contributed to my family." - Grandma
 That's when I knew it was okay to be the same; to ask for my own space and time and to continue to push myself to better yet still be a part of a family atmosphere without injuring the relationship. Then as we continued to walk. We came upon the subject of being happy, odd I know... I am certain in my life, some where along the road someone has said this same thing to me and I simply wasn't listening and to that person I am sorry.
But, she said" Hayley, in order to be truly happy you have to find it yourself. You can not spend your life basing your happiness on someone else, because ultimately they will have let you down and they will never know why it is you are so disappointed. That is also a lot of responsibility for one person to taken on..."- Grandma
 Well said? I know. As I am sure you all know that I am a Mormon. In our culture everyone gets married relatively young and I am certainly intermixed in that whole scenario currently... I have been making a huge mistake when it came to happiness, I expected to find some of it in someone else, and boy was I ever set straight that morning by grandma!

Final Score
Grandma: 2 Hayley: 0

Next topic currently zooming throughout my head is one I found looking over such a great city. I was thinking about why it is I truly love big cities. I found through my travels I don't love all big Cities, in fact, its not the actual idea of a city I love at all; Its the character, the buildings, the people, the feeling I get being there. I know your probably thinking okay she fell off the cliff. Give me a chance to explain. I was attending a baptism session at the Oakland Temple with the Walnut Creek Third ward. I happened to be there first one in and out and had a ton of time until everyone was finished( there at least 35 in the baptistry!! awesome? I know) So once I had been waiting an hour plus, I decided to go outside and wait. I walked over to this section in which I could jump up and over look the Oakland/San Francisco Bay. Wow, now if  you want to see lights go for miles, planes everywhere and thousands of people, this is your view point. I thought about the housing in San Francisco, how each one is different and personal to someone, how the city lights up and is swallowed by fog each night, how the city thrives on the energy it receives from each individual doing his our her part to keep it running. Its amazing! We are each living our lives everyday as if our small worlds are the end all be all, and yet everyone in a city is doing the same thing. Amazing? I know. I love disappearing into the masses, and yet I am still an individual. I can do that everyday. I love the infuse of culture, history, and passions. I get chills just thinking all that a city can teach you. I am not sure that anything I could say after this will no longer make sense ha ha but you get the idea of why it is I love them so. I was reminded of God's love for his children, he allowed us to create such gorgeous sites for us to sit and pondered at. I sure love this temple!!

I could go on and one for another three or four paragraphs about all the there stuff in my head but I figured these were the most coherent thoughts at the time being. Well, now I am currently sitting on a plane with about 150+ people I don't know a single one and I am completely okay with it. I am sure the guy behind me has read half of this before he started snoring about five minutes ago, the lady next to him will continue to read her book silently to her self and the teenage boy asleep next to me has no idea that his younger sister is so proud of her older brother and is grateful for his gentle kind heart and comfortable shoulder and all this is okay with me because when I get wifi again I am going to hit publish and send this of into the great abyss of the internet and who knows how many people will read it, how many people it will help or won' t help, or if anyone will read it at all. All I know is that I am grateful for this week for the views, the thoughts, for the people and for my many blessings.


Until next my dear friends,
-hayley