Moments of life there are no words for

I have woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, pulse throbbing, and breath racing. I have also been in church heart burning, tears crawling towards the very brink of my eyelids, and arms covered in goose bumps.
I have often found that in the moments I feel like a third party bystander. My life is completely ruled by something else. I can see me and my reactions as if I am watching it from across the room.
There are also moments of love that there are no words for. When you look at someone and realize wow, where in the world would I be without you? How can I come to understanding without your opinion? Why in the world do you love me back?
Well, I want to give you an insight to my life in the last month, its personal and I am sure you have felt this way at times too.
I was sitting in church the other day. (right before I was supposed to give my talk) and I thought how could I be ashmed of something that gives peace unto the world, love to the lonely and virtue to the shy and the weak. Pretty big thought huh?
The next was a nightmare that I was rejected by someone I love dearly. Who if he hurt me I am not sure I could handle it. I had fallen asleep with phone in hand, which made it all the more real.

Then this morning I sat up feeling like a 100 bucks and now I feel Like 10.
Amazing how fast things change huh?


When you have mometns there are no words for write down the day and time and general jist it will help. Then dont dwell on it be greatful for the expirence and move on.